Perfectionism Vs. HappyMe: 1 x 0
I sadly realized that perfectionism is harder to overcome than I thought.
A LOT OF MOTHS ago I started working on this.
Then yesterday I just found them laying around under a pile of papers on my desk.
mmmmm, I remember calling a few companies to get quotes to print out the stickers, what happened here?
oh, right! I thought I could do a few more color sample combinations “just in case”.
ooooohhhh dear God, just in case of what?
Now summer is almost over and those two cuties here won’t have a slot on my Filofax anymore:
Perfectionism Vs. HappyMe: 2 x 0
Yesterday I set myself to finish one of the art projects of the Creative Goddess e-course.
I was very scared to get started. White canvas fright:
I started working on it, and it was great! I was having fun and things were shaping till a certain point.
When I reached THAT point that one thingy wasn’t coming out right oh, gosh!!! My world flipped!
I tried to fix it, got worse, tried again, worsen and that is it! Painted all white again to start over
Argh! Overcoming perfectionism is VERY challenging!
Perfectionism Vs HappyMe: 2 x 1
Ok, I got one point at least this week! 🙂
I decided to start, aside of my regular journal, a Grateful Art Journal.
I got very excited with the idea and wanted to start right away! My brain was bubbly thinking how to get started.
HappyMe: “oh, I have the moleskine watercolor book that I use to practice! I can use that!”
Perfectionism: “Are you kidding me? it is a study book! there are a lot of messy things there, can’t be a Gratitude Book!”
HappyMe: “Mmmmmm, but just to start. Just for today’s gratitudes. I really want to put out RIGHT NOW what I am feeling this moment. I will get a book just for that later today, after I put out what I am feeling.”
Perfectionism: “You are starting all messed up already! If you start the first page on a separate book, your Gratitude Book will always be incomplete; it will always be missing the first page of the first day when you decided to do it!”
HappyMe: “It’s ok, it doesn’t need to be perfect.”
YAY me! Score!!!!!
I did it! One point for HappyMe!
And there it is, in the middle of all the watercolor doodling, my very first page:
- Chris: my love! Always supportive and patient! Couldn’t be luckier!
- Today: It is a very peaceful day, thankful for having it.
- Light: I LOVE light! But not “switch-on” light. I love natural light, and having all windows wide open to have all light possible!
- Studio: I just created a studio – by just I mean a month and a half ago. It is SO beautiful! SO much light! I could sit here all day long
- Frankie: I always thought he was too clingy for a cat. But no, he is just a very loving cat.
- House: We are moving. We are a little tired of suburbia. The hardest thing for me will be to leave this house. Specially after setting up this studio. It feels so homy. I love our sweet house.
- Possibilities: There are SO many out there! Like a huge fog is out of my way! SO much wonderful things about to happen!
- Journal: Starting my new journal! Watercolor everywhere! Yay!
- Vision: That may sound silly, but I am very glad to have my vision working, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see that inspiring light coming thru the window, my wonderful studio and all the pretty things everywhere.
- Clarity: To see it all! Not necessarily with my eyes, but to understand things and make sense of them! Everything is getting into pretty, comfy shapes!
I JUST CAN NOT BELIIIIIEEEEVVEEE IT!
Me. lovesiz. Leonie. Dawson
Who doesn’t know that? HA!
And what happens today as I am catching up with my feeds?
She mentions my sweet-darling post about the Goddess Workbook!
Aaaaawwww go check it out!
Click up there or here, scroll straight to number 8! Right there! See? My Filofax, a bit of my laptop and my cell phone hanging there, haha
Oh, such an excitement! I couldn’t be happier! 🙂
I thought I could show it off here a little bit.
I first print out her workbook to go on my “Me” Filofax.
That didn’t work out well as it was too small and her drawings way to beautiful to be squished like that.
|Baroque in action! Always 🙂|
I use it anyway, trying to write in between the tiny blank spaces.
NOW looks amazing! Big pages and room to write!
I re-wrote everything I had from the smaller size and added a few more.
One of the things that the workbook offers is a worksheet of to-dos for your current year. It has 100 slots but I barely filled in 70.
I wrote down even things that just had a very remote possibility of happening.
And look how EXCITING! Guess which one was one of them???
Hehehehehe and the THIRD MeetUp is about to happen this year! oh happiness! Hehhehhehehe
Side note —> a while back I read someone’s post that highlighting a done task of your to-do list will give you an energy boost as you can read everything you accomplished. And well, it’s highlighted so it’s pretty clear of how far you have been so far. Totally agree with that! I want to pet myself on the back every time I read one of the highlights!
She has many beautiful drawings all around and what I like the most are the motivational reminders spread throughout the book. Like those ones:
The highlighted part of the picture below reads:
“[…]the sweet joy of reuniting with yourself after a long, heart sick separation[…]“
And inside the box:
“That’s the blessing of life – to take you where you need to be. Everything is taking us home“
And there it is the rest of the to-do list. A work in progress:
The following juicy page tells you how to get things done. How to break down in steps huge plans and projects. Note that she mentions a “To-do List” Notebook, to be used to write down those huge tasks’ steps.
HA! That was a cry to get a Slimline! hehehehe
I got an Amazona from Susanna but ended up not using it for that purpose thou.
More “breaking down” strategies:
And the Medicine Bag! For when you are not that excited, a quick fix to uplift your mood.
Now, the calendar.
I had not used it at all, because I don’t carry an A5 with me, it stays home. All date planning goes on my Personal sized ones. And shrinking down the pages to Personal would make it too small to write.
But it can be useful if an A5 is your main planner.
On the left side there are her motivational writings and a box of goal and another one for to-dos for the month:
I have been actively trying to reconnect with myself.
This year has been so revealing to me.
This dear and juicy blog is slowly representing this change and transformation. I knew I had something going on when I wrote on my intro “Filofax helping me get organized”.
It was just the start!
Hours of journaling and drooling over some long lost passions, like stickers and pens, have been helping me so much to find my center, my balance.
I am very fortunate that it evolved into going back to watercolor. Even while researching and deciding on my first Filofax I found an entry on my Franklin Covey saying “try watercolor again”.
If you have been following my posts (yay!) you may had noticed here and there a few posts about how excited I am getting with this “new” art world ahead of me.
New yet so familiar in so many ways.
Many rules and old patterns need to be cleared out thou.
I am working so hard on letting go of those creativity blocker thingys.
Like “hold the brush that way not that way” or “this is not how to use this technique” and so on.
It is amazing how those magic-killer rules makes us retract and forget about the fun process of making art.
How do we dare not make it enjoyable?
In one of the first moments getting back into illustrating I had that little blockage of mine.
I was enjoying, really ENJOYING my illustration.
Even humming a song. (I am usually very happy when I start humming!)
Than suddenly I stopped and horrified looked at the illustration and thought:
“oh my goodness, I’m not supposed to turn the page side ways to do this!”
Excuse me? I am not SUPPOSED to?
And quickly my inner critic decided to be “nice” and give me a “word of advice”:
“well, no one will know you turned the page, just turn it”
EXCUSE ME? no one will KNOW?
Then FINALLY, the nurturing and self-loving side of my mind stepped up and spoke out loud (in a sweet way):
“Are you kidding me????? Turn it, flip it, fold it, twist it, dice it, dip it into paint and tell the entire world that you turned it, fliped it, folded it, twisted it, diced it, dipped into paint but for crying out loud KEEP THE FUN ROLLING!!!!! Don’t stop NOW!!!”
So yeah, it has been a journey of self discovery to go back to painting.
Discovering huge influences, norms and inner critics that need to change.
I have found so many beautiful bloggers out there doing so many beautiful work. It is so invigorating and reassuring.
Some of them had even similar situations, worked around them and are out there spreading the word. Beautiful!
So here I am about to start my first – of many to come – creativity releasing course:
It will be Leonie’s of course!! Because you know I love her! hehehe
Oh, you didn’t know I love her? Take a look at the buttons – scrolling down – on the side bar ———->
Hers is right there together with Philofaxy. I gotta really love her, right? 😉
So there is the course:
|Super excited! Already printed out the first week’s booklet.
Soon the pages will go into my Filofax, hehe
The course starts in two days, on August 1, and here is the course’s blurb copied and pasted from her website:
* Six hand-drawn, illustrated and painted ebooks and three sets of worksheets guiding you on creating art as a sacred practice, how to find healing on your journey, walking through your stucknesses, how to create sacred space and discovering the Goddess in you.
* Six videos each week from me and Charlie the Happy Healer Dog guiding you on the next part of your Creative Goddess journey.
* Six guided 30 minute MP3 goddess meditations by me to work with for each part of the course. These are incredibly powerful resources, and are worth the price of the course alone.*****
I joined the circle a while back and can’t say enough how supportive, helpfull and enlighting it has been connecting with all those women.
I trust the course will be what the blurbs say – yes, I am believer! 😀
Aaaaand I trust even more, better saying, I KNOW that I love people, I love communicating and that the course will be SO much more fun from start till the end with peeps that I know.
Care to join me?
Love, love, love
PS- I spotted a Filofax fan the first day I joined the circle! You know who you are missy! Come on, let’s do it! 🙂
Happy birthday to ME! Yay!
Very wonderful b-day celebration. Celebration for the last entire year. Reaaaaallly!!!!
Very very happy this days – I already said that a gazillion times in other posts, I know – but truly I am!
Tonight, my favorite restaurant, DH and me, myself and I taking care of me, myself and I.
This past year has been a very introspective, clarifying and revealing year. I learned so much and am finally acting on “taking care” of myself.
I was going to give me as a b-day gift a membership to Leonie’s Goddess Circle.
The excitement of the decision OF COURSE didn’t hold me from purchasing it waaaay back in May (my b-day is really today June 14th).
“Ok, ok”, I thought to myself, “it’s ok, I can certainly enjoy it a little earlier, nothing wrong with it, I can even get ready for one of the courses before June”.
SO WORTH IT!
I found so many wonderful women to connect, so many “super-hero” stories hidden around and feel so much more inspired to take care of myself!
All the courses printed out, I needed, I really NEEDED somewhere to store it, flip thru pages and take notes.
Hhhmmmmmm……..Let’s think together…..what.could.it.be? A place to store all the pages? A place to have all the lessons and take notes………..what…..could…..it……be…..?
HA! YOU SO GUESSED RIGHT!
And it is a GORGEOUS one! My iPhone is not making justice to that beauty’s color.
Look how perfect now on a Domino A5 size:
And look how much stuff I printed out already (and there are more courses to print still!):
One more pic just because I really love Leonie’s stuff and the shinny rings on my Filofax 😀
I also gave myself another gift, that it was very unexpected.
Actually, painted letters. How cool is that?
And I receive mine TODAY! on My B-day!
ooooohhhhh joy! I was so thrilled to see it sitting there on the mail box! There was just something to it. Receiving an actual letter!
I just loved it!
Look how cute and cozy:
It came with a tiny envelope with a magnet inside and a page from Hemingway where he talks about Paris – where the letter came from.
Oh, gosh! really so happy!
To top it all off DH gave me the best gift ever!……I was about to take a pic of it at the restaurant (Instagram! HA!) but he didn’t let me. So I am just manifesting here that I am very happy with it.
I am really thankful for this past personal year.
And I am SO looking forward to this shinny and glittery brand new one!
Many blessings, love & joy