Healing happens.

Hey there! 🙂

How is everything going?

So just to let you know: I am NOT making it a whole week without blogging! I refuse! hehe
I love it too much to abandon like that, even if my back is trying to be “funny” with me.

By “funny”, I mean, painful :-/
I have been struggling now for a few weeks with my back pains as they are all hunting me again. I had to stop most of my fun activities, including blogging.
Thankfully thou, the worse is gone. The worse is gone! The worse is GONE! Did I say that loud enough?
THE WORSE IS GONE!!! The worse is no longer needed. It was necessary to propel me to finally pay attention to myself and make a decision. A big one.

But I will talk about it – big decisions – later on, when I really sink it all in and put my feelings of those events and decisions into cohesive words.

As my come back post, I thought of posting a face for the 29faces challenge. Then I started pondering about a few other things.

You know, throughout my days and nights I had a gazillion of ideas and thoughts of things I want to say it out loud here on my blog.

When they occur I am usually away, very far away from my blog and the ideas just die out.

Like my love-letter to big cities starring Chicago and New York, my two most recent big cities trip.
Or about the progress of my new site/blog, or about reviews of notebooks I have been using, or musings about my cats’ life (really, they are interesting! I kid you not!).

Most of them fade.
Actually not the actual ideas fade, but my eagerness to write about them fade if I am not able to write it out right away.

So, one thing happen to me last Friday.
This last Friday I so wanted to scream it out loud everything I was feeling.
I really wanted to share, to put it out there, to post it.
For what? I don’t know.

The thing is that that one didn’t fade at all! It kept playing around in my mind, begging to come out.

So here we go as it needs to be.

Last Friday I had a surprisingly not-so-fun day at work. Non-stop straight 10hrs and my back was attacking me.
I managed to pull my entire desk up so I spent most of the 10hrs on the computer standing up.  No sitting down to enhance back pain.
Great! Guess what?
I had very flat sandals – to be nice to my back – and my feet, more precisely my heels decided they needed some attention too and started competing with my back. It was a tight match, both now big winners! Both sharply hurting.

Around 5:30 – two hrs to go still but I didn’t now – I was about to pass out in pain and managed to hold myself from having a melt down TWICE. I usually give in pretty easily to melt downs if need be – ask hubby – so it was a pretty humongous effort to fight thru it twice.

My body was begging for a break.

Not only a break thou, also nurture, care, love, the whole famous TLC.  I managed to finally turn off the computer, limping walk to the elevator and get out of the building. It was deep dark.

Going thru my usual path to the parking lot I bumped into a construction site right there in the middle of the same ol’ parking lot walk. I wanna scream.
To get to the car I would have to walk around the humongous construction site area, adding four extra blocks.

My feet. My back. Pain.

I just stood there, feeling all the charge of the day, the stress, the pain, the frustration.
Squeezing my eyes I tried to see thru the darkness which direction to go.

Then I realized it, I saw it!
I took a deeper look into the blocks ahead of me and I saw it!

FOUR EXTRA BLOCKS OF FRESH NEVER EXPLORED GRASS!

*giggles, giggles, giggles*

In the midst of my stress-pain feelings I was finally able to find something! I was able to find real blessing and joy on that mess.

Four whole extra blocks of grass fresh, lush, soft SO welcoming and so healing!
Off with the flat sandals.

My feet was begging for attention, needing TLC and there it was. That cold fresh lush grass was all they needed. Instant relief. Instant healing. All that charge of negativity and stress moving away.

There I was in the middle of the darkness, in a parking lot, standing on that fresh, cold grass, barefoot and happy!
Happy because my feet was finally, oh so comfortable, so where it should be!

If I was wearing a skirt I would probably have been on my knees right there, LOL
Just to feel it all, with my hands, feet and knees. And all curled up in fetal position, you know? That makes your back very round and stretched which always helps relieving my back pains.

I walked SO slowly those extra four blocks. Not because of pain, just because I didn’t want the moment to go away.
A blessed healing walk.
A reminder of how important it is for me to disconnect, connect, slow down and get in all the nature that I can.
How I missed it!

My drive home was so much better then expected. I got home still feeling the heaviness of that day on my shoulders but in a very different way. I felt healed, cared, uplifted and willing to work things out.

Much more came from that experience – including big decisions! – but the juicy part I wanted to share for right now was that. The desire to share that experience never died out and I thought I shouldn’t ignore it. 🙂

I’m not sure why did this experience so wanted to come out but there it is. Maybe to remind someone out there to also pay attention to the needs of their body? Oh, doesn’t really mater 🙂
Needed to to be shared and it is shared!

Hope you all have a wonderful body-minded balanced rest of the week with as many grass-like experiences as possible!

Smooches,
LT

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4 responses

  1. Thank you!

    Really, thank you for writing this post.

    Last Saturday I fall down and sprained my ankle. There is nothing broken, just some joints damage. I have my foot immobilized with a bandage and I use crotches to help me move around.

    But the real problem is my back. Having so little mobility it's really hurting and sometimes I don't know what position to sit or to lay down to make it hurt less. Stretching helps, but it's not easy to stretch your back if you can't stand properly long enough.

    After I've read your post I've tried the fetal position laying on the bed. I never thought about stretching my back like that, and it works. It works very well. Thus, thank you for writing this.

    I can't wait to get rid of the bandage and go to find some grass now… LOL

  2. I am glad you have some relief from your pain and hope for even more healing soon! I am at a computer too and so often forget to take a break. Really silly because then I work less well when my shoulder starts to have serious pain. I have tried all sorts of things to remind me, like setting a timer or when the phone rings, to remind me to stop and stretch. But I still forget. Here is a big hug from me (( )) with blessings to remember to stop for both you and me.

  3. Neolicht, I am so glad this post was helpful to you! That is why it was begging to come out, someone needed to read it 🙂

    I SO understand you about not knowing what position to sit or lay down. A little over a year ago, when things were really bad on my “back world” I had many nights standing in the dark in the kitchen with tears rolling over pain. I had no way to lay down, no position would stop the pain and I just had to be standing up at 2am waiting to get too tired and go back to bed, hoping my emotional and physical exhaustion would make me fall sleep again. Those were very awful times. I so understand you on that frustration.

    Sending you all possible positive energy that your foot gets better soon and you are back on your healthy happy body again. ♥

  4. hi Mstraat! Thank you so much for your hugs and blessing, I really appreciate that 🙂
    But don't beat yourself up if you can't follow thru with your reminders. When your body hurts, you will remember and start doing some stretches.
    That is actually what happened to my back. I know that I have to religiously be doing my PT exercises to avoid pains. For a few months I let it fall thru the cracks :-/ my back has been hurting over this period, but a weekend trip and a bad hotel bed trigged the worse. I also didn't follow my own mental reminders to do my exercises. My body didn't wait around thou and sent me this huge painful reminder that it needs love and overdoing is not an option for me. I am happily back on track now 🙂

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