Following my lately mind set of “chase after your dreams”, I did a face for the 29faces challenge with an even better version of that sweet sentence:
Here we go:
“WILDLY chase after your dreams!” haha
Let your pink hair flow and all 😀
Have a wonderful Saturday everyone!
Hey there! 🙂
How is everything going?
So just to let you know: I am NOT making it a whole week without blogging! I refuse! hehe
I love it too much to abandon like that, even if my back is trying to be “funny” with me.
By “funny”, I mean, painful
I have been struggling now for a few weeks with my back pains as they are all hunting me again. I had to stop most of my fun activities, including blogging.
Thankfully thou, the worse is gone. The worse is gone! The worse is GONE! Did I say that loud enough?
THE WORSE IS GONE!!! The worse is no longer needed. It was necessary to propel me to finally pay attention to myself and make a decision. A big one.
But I will talk about it – big decisions – later on, when I really sink it all in and put my feelings of those events and decisions into cohesive words.
As my come back post, I thought of posting a face for the 29faces challenge. Then I started pondering about a few other things.
You know, throughout my days and nights I had a gazillion of ideas and thoughts of things I want to say it out loud here on my blog.
When they occur I am usually away, very far away from my blog and the ideas just die out.
Like my love-letter to big cities starring Chicago and New York, my two most recent big cities trip.
Or about the progress of my new site/blog, or about reviews of notebooks I have been using, or musings about my cats’ life (really, they are interesting! I kid you not!).
Most of them fade.
Actually not the actual ideas fade, but my eagerness to write about them fade if I am not able to write it out right away.
So, one thing happen to me last Friday.
This last Friday I so wanted to scream it out loud everything I was feeling.
I really wanted to share, to put it out there, to post it.
For what? I don’t know.
The thing is that that one didn’t fade at all! It kept playing around in my mind, begging to come out.
So here we go as it needs to be.
Last Friday I had a surprisingly not-so-fun day at work. Non-stop straight 10hrs and my back was attacking me.
I managed to pull my entire desk up so I spent most of the 10hrs on the computer standing up. No sitting down to enhance back pain.
Great! Guess what?
I had very flat sandals – to be nice to my back – and my feet, more precisely my heels decided they needed some attention too and started competing with my back. It was a tight match, both now big winners! Both sharply hurting.
Around 5:30 – two hrs to go still but I didn’t now – I was about to pass out in pain and managed to hold myself from having a melt down TWICE. I usually give in pretty easily to melt downs if need be – ask hubby – so it was a pretty humongous effort to fight thru it twice.
My body was begging for a break.
Not only a break thou, also nurture, care, love, the whole famous TLC. I managed to finally turn off the computer, limping walk to the elevator and get out of the building. It was deep dark.
Going thru my usual path to the parking lot I bumped into a construction site right there in the middle of the same ol’ parking lot walk. I wanna scream.
To get to the car I would have to walk around the humongous construction site area, adding four extra blocks.
My feet. My back. Pain.
I just stood there, feeling all the charge of the day, the stress, the pain, the frustration.
Squeezing my eyes I tried to see thru the darkness which direction to go.
Then I realized it, I saw it!
I took a deeper look into the blocks ahead of me and I saw it!
FOUR EXTRA BLOCKS OF FRESH NEVER EXPLORED GRASS!
*giggles, giggles, giggles*
In the midst of my stress-pain feelings I was finally able to find something! I was able to find real blessing and joy on that mess.
Four whole extra blocks of grass fresh, lush, soft SO welcoming and so healing!
Off with the flat sandals.
My feet was begging for attention, needing TLC and there it was. That cold fresh lush grass was all they needed. Instant relief. Instant healing. All that charge of negativity and stress moving away.
There I was in the middle of the darkness, in a parking lot, standing on that fresh, cold grass, barefoot and happy!
Happy because my feet was finally, oh so comfortable, so where it should be!
If I was wearing a skirt I would probably have been on my knees right there, LOL
Just to feel it all, with my hands, feet and knees. And all curled up in fetal position, you know? That makes your back very round and stretched which always helps relieving my back pains.
I walked SO slowly those extra four blocks. Not because of pain, just because I didn’t want the moment to go away.
A blessed healing walk.
A reminder of how important it is for me to disconnect, connect, slow down and get in all the nature that I can.
How I missed it!
My drive home was so much better then expected. I got home still feeling the heaviness of that day on my shoulders but in a very different way. I felt healed, cared, uplifted and willing to work things out.
Much more came from that experience – including big decisions! – but the juicy part I wanted to share for right now was that. The desire to share that experience never died out and I thought I shouldn’t ignore it. 🙂
I’m not sure why did this experience so wanted to come out but there it is. Maybe to remind someone out there to also pay attention to the needs of their body? Oh, doesn’t really mater 🙂
Needed to to be shared and it is shared!
Hope you all have a wonderful body-minded balanced rest of the week with as many grass-like experiences as possible!
I love online peeps and how their ideas, thoughts, spirituality, feelings and all their juiciness are so available for us to dig in when and as much as we need.
So many wonderful people doing such amazing work out there.
You know, it ain’t easy to get out of CrabbyLand when you have physical pain.
I have been having it, in a quite strong way unfortunately, for four days now. Plus months of light daily pain and discomfort.
It is starting to get to me I must say.
Frustrated I went to bed. iPhone in hand I knew I would find relief and a bright light somewhete if I only searched for it.
Mmmmm, and there it was.
For AGES I have been meaning to go check Andrea Scher’s work. Then I remember reading on twitter that she just put up her new site.
Oh yeah! Off I went to check it out.
Amazing! Uplifting, inspiring and a relief in the midst of foggy feelings and thoughts.
Her honest bio and…. THE SUPERPOWERS! Oh, peeps! Really go read it ♥ check her bio first, then this —> your power is?
Joy, joy, joy above all. I am very talented on finding joy on the smallest or simplest things. And bringing joy to my surroundings too! I’m actually giving myself a few stars for that ★★★★
Other superhero powers to be unleashed as I go. As I let me be.
See ya all tomorrow! 🙂
Smooches and hugs,
PS: oh! And there is a giveaway happenig there too! Courses, books, a bag and a camera! Don’t miss it!
I left work all stressed and stuck on work-related thoughts that were making me very upset.
I didn’t even try to find my little bunny friend on my way to the parking lot!
I sat on my car and didn’t start the engine.
Just sat there upset.
Then of course, decided to grab my phone to check what kind of fun was happening out there that could take my mind away from work.
Oh, and it SO worked!
I opened my emails.
There it was. The regular notification I receive every time Chris Guilleabeau posts something on his blog.
This is his new blog post —-> Traffic lights!
Aside the chuckle I had out of his description of ignoring traffic lights – something very common back home – the VERY SIMPLE message I received right when I needed was:
***In life, worry about what really matters.***
Ooohhh, so simple!!!!
So obvious, so said and repeated over and over again, and I SO needed a reminder about that!
Felt so good.
I kept starring at that sentence and slowly releasing what wasn’t good for me.
Felt SO good!
But I am feeling just like that:
I was very very crabby when I woke up today.
Still laying in bed, started chitchatting on twitter then jumped into my blogger feeds.
I found denthe’s post about an art challenge.
Mmmmmm. A Face challenge, huh?
I had that HappyMe x Perfectionism conversation again:
HappyMe: that sounds fun.
Perfectionism: You are very bad at drawing people thou.
HappyMe: Well, that is a good fun way to practice!
Perfectionism: but it is 29 days! almost everyday! you started the #photoaday twice and dropped BOTH times.
Perfectionism: and the photo challenge is easier then this one.
HappyMe: well, I had fun both times and if I drop this one too, I know I will have fun the days I did a face.
Perfectionism: One more thing, look at those ladies’ blogs. They are very good and experienced artists!
HappyMe: FUN, I said FUN! I am doing it and stop talking me out of it!
ok, out of the putting down conversation I started thinking what to use for the faces.
I thought of those little white masks, that you paint on. But then I would have to go buy them, nah.
Decided to stick with watercolor that is what I have at home.
I found out I am almost running out of watercolor paper.
Oh! great chance for perfectionsim to kick in again:
Perfectionism: well, didn’t you say you were going to festival downtown? Go get a small book just for that, so you will have all the faces together.
HappyMe: I may not want to do it when I am back. I am starting now. I am serious, bye!
That was a very quick one, lasted seconds thankfully, because I was determined to not let my perfectionism ruin another fun activity for me.
I got say it is still very much there! Sometimes it starts talking to me, I dont even notice and I am just agreeing with everything it says! LOL
Good thing is that when I recognize it, I am getting better and quicker on getting out of that “naysay” attitude.
Soooo, continuing, I chopped down some scrap watercolor paper I had and got started, yay!
Finally, all that just to tell you: I started! LOL
Here is the little guy. Not done yet. Waiting for it to dry to do the final touches so decided to write this post meanwhile.
Even if lasts just one day,
even if I just make this one single face,
it worked already.
I am completely out of CrabbyLand!
This post I meant to had published last Friday.
Bummer, I am late!
Why do I feel I am late and had to post this reminder on Friday?
Well, the thing is I signed up for this course a few months ago in the last minute.
I actually signed up the NIGHT BEFORE the course started.
For a few simple reasons:
- I don’t like to cook and following recipes with ingredients I am not used to is a pain in the butt for me.
- Working full-time and craving “ME-time” every single day doesn’t leave much willingness to experiment with the above mentioned disliked activity.
- By signing up the night before, I did not have time to stock up the fridge with the right ingredients. I actually didn’t even know what the ingredients were! I started reading the workbook the day OF the course.
- Because I sign up on the last minute, I was totally LOST in the Circle and had no idea what to expect.
- Sure thing there are Circle Guides in there and many tutorials to help you out, but it takes TIME to walk thru all those initial resources. I felt very overwhelmed and frustrated.
- Combining all those points together with the fact that I was NOT on a quest to overcome my perfectionism, guess what happened? Easy-breezy to guess, right? Yep, I dropped the course on the second day!
|Click on the pic for the post|
I watched the workshop only once (downloaded twice just to make sure, hehe) and it really impacted me. I am using just a few of the tools for right now and feeling the change everyday.
The Healing Workshop is up just till this Friday. If you decide to join the Circle on Monday you won’t get it.
I have been writing/ painting daily on my gratitude journal. It is amazingly powerful!
It shifts your mind!
I AM looking at things differently and finding wonderful blessings all around me all the time.
This morning I meditated.
Very surprising for me as usually I do at the end of the day.
I think I hadn’t been sleeping well, it is too hot! I woke up feeling weird, crabby I guess.
So I decided to meditate in the morning to see if my day got better.
Right after that I was inspired and wrote A LOT on my journal and on my Gratitude Book.
Things really change. Actually I change.
I started getting ready for work and I looked at the window and choked, just choked with this:
|it is there right now|
Where have a I been? How have I never notice that gorgeous inspiring tree on my window?
oh, sure thing, it is not that I never saw it! Of course I saw it! I just never NOTICED it.
So beautiful! Sitting right there, shiny and smily all this time and I cared to notice it just today.
Beautiful, SO beautiful and right here, NOW. Not on some vague day in the future 🙂
It is out there right now, having a good rest for another beautiful shiny day.
Then later today I went for my daily check in at the Goddess Circle.
I had an email! Yay!
An email from a beautiful circle member saying that today she saw a picture and thought about me.
She thought about me because she read my entry on the Creative Goddess forum about trusting myself.
* By the way, that same insight I put it out here on my blog too. If you are curious, here it is 🙂 ——> Insight!*
Sooooo, she send me a lovely email and posted the picture. Look at that inspiring juiciness:
Aaaaawww and she thought of me when she saw that?!
Terriiiiii big thanks, waves and hugs to you from out heeeerreee!!!!! Please put your blog up soon! 🙂
Much much love,
Ok, this post was supposed to have been put up yesterday. Even thou it is Monday evening, I am still counting it as a weekend wrap-up 🙂
I am just too excited accomplishing things and very glad they had happened. yeaaaah!
- I finished another painting, yay,yay,yay!
- I meditated. And A LOT! I am very dazzled with it, how did I manage to go so many years without it?
- I created AND SENT a very juicy welcoming love-letter to my new newsletter subscribers ♥♥♥♥
- I created two different sets of social media icons for my new blog. I was thinking of a new banner too but after my post from yesterday…. Mmmmmmm I fell in love all over again with it. I will leave it like that for now.
- I delivered a guest posts! Yeeeeeessssss!!!!! I had so much fun writing it! I am so excited and thankful for having one of my posts out there to be read by more peeps! Thanks Philofaxy for that brilliant idea! Yay for that!
- I hadn’t been to the gym in forever time but yesterday after a whole productive Sunday-fun I decided to go walk in the park! Yeah, not the gym, THE PARK! Which is a gazillion times better, more refreshing and much more beautiful! hehehehe.
- I filled in more pages of my Gratitude Book which I love every single second of it. It is so juicy! Gets more beautiful everyday!
On an unrelated note, this morning I had peaches on my desk welcoming me to a new week! have you tried one of those Rotary peaches? Well, I guess if you are not in Colorado probably you haven’t. I am not sure if it is just a local thing or not.
Anyway, I ordered them thru a co-worker like a month ago and they were there on my desk, waiting for me this morning. Huge, round, ripe and smelling sooooo good. It was a good Monday start 🙂
Now, here, take this flower as my “thank you” for reading my post and go have a great Tuesday!
Yesterday I was really into hanging around and reading the discussions at the circle.
I got all caught up with my assignments for the creative course and started working on the next week.
The assignment had a worksheet to fill out.
I struggled to answer all the questions and at some point I had an insight – yeeesss! – on why I was getting so stuck on things!
I wrote all down on the worksheet, run out of room and jumped into my journal.
I pour it all out and to summarize that was my huge-ground-breaking insight:
|Notice that it was such a powerful insight that I cross out the “need” which sounded much like a “at some point” and decided to make it a NOW action.|
I really felt stoked by my finding.
THAT is why I am stuck lately! I keep questioning my gut feelings.
I feel something is right but doubt it and end up doing nothing!
ooooohhhh excitement, really that is light at the end of the tunnel! Making choices!
NOW I AM ROCKING ALL AROUND! hehehehe
Sure thing the awarness is only the first step. Watching my mind-tricks to pull me into old patterns will be the challenge.
The day after my ground-breaking insight I was talking to a friend and during the conversation I realized how hard it is for me to settle within the “I don’t know or I am figuring out” area, you know?
I always had someone to tell me what to do if I didn’t know (“that’s how we had always done that”) or what direction to go – (“this is the best route for sure! Why wouldn’t someone want that?”) or I would at least believe I already had the answer and I would just go for it.
Sitting on the “I don’t know, I am experimenting, I am figuring it out”, is very new.
I hadn’t practise my “trust-my-self” muscle in years and all of a sudden I can finally exercise them. They feel sore. Very sore.
Now I see, it is a good sore you know? Like after working out at the gym.
Very happy with my insight.
That insight paired with my quest on ignoring my perfectionism and I will find my ways to unstuck and move forward!
*** happy all around ***
Love, love, love