Yesterday I was really into hanging around and reading the discussions at the circle.
I got all caught up with my assignments for the creative course and started working on the next week.
The assignment had a worksheet to fill out.
I struggled to answer all the questions and at some point I had an insight – yeeesss! – on why I was getting so stuck on things!
I wrote all down on the worksheet, run out of room and jumped into my journal.
I pour it all out and to summarize that was my huge-ground-breaking insight:
|Notice that it was such a powerful insight that I cross out the “need” which sounded much like a “at some point” and decided to make it a NOW action.|
I really felt stoked by my finding.
THAT is why I am stuck lately! I keep questioning my gut feelings.
I feel something is right but doubt it and end up doing nothing!
ooooohhhh excitement, really that is light at the end of the tunnel! Making choices!
NOW I AM ROCKING ALL AROUND! hehehehe
Sure thing the awarness is only the first step. Watching my mind-tricks to pull me into old patterns will be the challenge.
The day after my ground-breaking insight I was talking to a friend and during the conversation I realized how hard it is for me to settle within the “I don’t know or I am figuring out” area, you know?
I always had someone to tell me what to do if I didn’t know (“that’s how we had always done that”) or what direction to go – (“this is the best route for sure! Why wouldn’t someone want that?”) or I would at least believe I already had the answer and I would just go for it.
Sitting on the “I don’t know, I am experimenting, I am figuring it out”, is very new.
I hadn’t practise my “trust-my-self” muscle in years and all of a sudden I can finally exercise them. They feel sore. Very sore.
Now I see, it is a good sore you know? Like after working out at the gym.
Very happy with my insight.
That insight paired with my quest on ignoring my perfectionism and I will find my ways to unstuck and move forward!
*** happy all around ***
Love, love, love